The Black Woman’s Manifesto for 2012
I have had it.
Too many black women on TV appear to be making a concerted effort to hijack our image and set us back 850 years!
What the hell is going on?
I’m talking about the reality show, so-called housewives of this, that and the other. Their frequent displays of violence and aggression, their obvious lack of self-esteem and their inability to show any semblance of adult-like behavior is downright embarrassing.
Yet, the criticisms of these displays, which should be coming from upstanding black women in our society, are either being ignored, are too rare or not being voiced loudly enough.
Or, maybe these toxic displays have become accepted as the norm for black women.
This is NOT okay! I say, enough is enough. It’s time to set a new standard for women everywhere. So I decided to draft the Black Woman’s Manifesto for 2012. It’s intended to be a working document with a few recommendations of how we as strong, proud, respectable, admirable, loving black women should conduct ourselves. Is this too much to ask?
1.) We will strive for better health—mentally, physically and spiritually. We will get therapy, coaching, training, counseling or whatever it takes so that the hurts of our past no longer hinder our future. We will work to achieve ultimate wholeness and healing in EVERY area of our lives so that our thoughts, words and actions become a true reflection of our GOD-like nature. We will elevate ourselves in an effort to command a new level of respect.
2.) As mothers, we will put the BEST interest of our children FIRST, especially as it relates to giving them the best education possible, spending quality time and creating a nurturing and affirming family environment. We will not leave them in situations where their safety and well-being might be jeopardized (i.e. with boyfriends or friends of friends or with crazy-ass relatives just because we can’t find a babysitter). We will see them as precious gifts, not burdens. We will lovingly prepare nutritious meals for them so that they will not rely on fast food. We will teach our girls to value themselves and raise our boys to be MEN. At our best, we will serve as the living example of the type of woman our sons would want to marry. Even when they become “difficult” or “defiant” we will protect our children at all costs and NEVER give up on them.
3.) We will absolutely NOT flirt with, lunch with, spend time with, share personal information with, engage in long conversation with or have sex with another woman’s husband, period! He is off limits no matter how smooth a talker he may be. We will show self-restraint and show respect for that wife and her marriage because we would want her to do the same for us. We will also stop holding every man accountable for the sins of our fathers who may have left us. It is not their fault that he may have been ill-equipped to prepare us for womanhood.
4.) We will raise our standards and level of expectation when it comes to relationships. We will only connect with men of high moral character. If he does not get along with his mother, we will either help him repair that relationship first or run in the opposite direction. We will STOP engaging in casual sex with multiple partners because that’s just nasty! Just because a man is “sexy” or has “swag” does not mean he deserves the very essence of who you are. Allow him to earn it. Challenge him to put a ring on it. Show him your value goes far beyond the bedroom. Your life depends on it and he will he be a better man if you do.
5.) We will vigorously protect our image in the media. When we see women on TV clowning and acting a damn fool, we will confront them, call them to the carpet and lovingly correct them. Nowadays, shaking our heads as we continue to watch the train wreck is not enough because these women are negatively influencing an entire generation.
6.) We will create a multiple-streams-of-income lifestyle. We will refuse to rely on one check from one job that is not guaranteed to be there for us tomorrow. We will establish businesses that give us the freedom to do what matters most and we will earn what we deserve. We will commit to tithing, saving, giving and systematically getting out of debt.
7.) We will ONLY speak words that give life. We will encourage, uplift, support, empower and inspire each other with our words. We will refuse to tear others down with rumors, gossip, lies, half-truths, violence, aggression, negativity or deceit. No longer will we say, “I’m broke, I’m not good enough, I’m too short, I’m too fat, I’m not pretty enough, I’m not smart enough…” We will recognize that our words have POWER and every word we speak is a seed being planted. We will NOT speak our current situation. Instead we will ONLY speak the reality that we deserve and desire thereby calling it into existence with our WORDS.
8.) We will lovingly forgive ourselves for bad decisions and stupid mistakes. The past is the past. We are still here. The lesson has been learned. It’s a new day. Move on and let your breakthrough overtake you!
9.) We will honor ourselves (and the God within us) everyday by acknowledging the authority that we have been given to change ANY situation. We will reclaim our role as cultural gatekeepers and we will be respected for our brilliance AND beauty on earth and in heaven.
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